😈🍿 J Riley 🍿😈

To Live and Die in L.A. 1985

1h 56m Crime Rated 4.0 out of 5

One of the best car chase sequences I’ve ever seen. I love the chase changes and evolves. Love how the chase has its ups and downs. Thrilling action. Awesome plot twists.

Shitty gated snare 80s soundtrack. Dance Hall Days is cool but the rest of the tracks can GTFO

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers 1988

1h 20m Comedy Rated 2.0 out of 5

Not nearly as creative as the original film. Weak plot. Bad acting. Slow pacing. Wet Hot American Summer without any of its charms.

With Gourley And Rust podcast

Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead 1994

1h 31m Horror Rated 3.0 out of 5

Fun Sam Rami-esque action. Good soundtrack.

Plot is meandering. Diminishing returns with each sequel.

Dead Meat podcast

Commando 1985

1h 30m Action Rated 4.0 out of 5

Really fun and engaging. Paced really well with little breather moments between action sequences. Snappy editing. Soundtrack sounds like a Dario Argento film.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child 1989

1h 29m Horror Rated 2.5 out of 5

Baby Freddy is cute. Freddy’s one liners are just dad jokes. The most Beetlejuice-esque one yet with the class commentary.

Mark got sucked into the Take On Me video. The scariest part is the Jurassic Park kid Whit Flint.

The Wizard of Mars 1965

1h 18m Horror Rated 1.0 out of 5

Somehow they managed to make crashing onto Mars, fighting alien snakes, and discovering an ancient alien civilization seem really really boring. There’s only about 15 minutes of salvageable movie here. The rest is just astronauts rambling around without any sense of urgency.

Monsterdon watch party on Mastodon

Journey to the Center of Time 1967

1h 22m Science Fiction Rated 1.5 out of 5

The first half is so incredibly slow with nothing happening. Fortunately the second half is better and it feels like a mix of Twilight Zone and Star Trek TOS.

Monsterdon watch party on Mastodon

Night of the Living Dead 1990

1h 28m Horror Rated 4.5 out of 5

Really great remake. Tense editing with nice moments of suspense. I like this Sigourney Weaver-esque Barbara. Dark commentary on American society. A cold, chilling ending.

Bad MIDI keyboard soundtrack.

Svengoolie

The Dawn

Rated 1.0 out of 5

The sets look nice.

What year is it? It looks like the early 1800s. PTSD from what… the revolution?! PTSD from Mean Girls? What is wrong with mom’s accent? No splatter. I thought they were in England when I saw the cops. The bad lighting and weird editing gives away how low budget this is. The complete lack of extras. Pacing is so slow with nothing happening for 90% of the film.

Amityvilleville podcast

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master 1988

1h 33m Horror Rated 3.0 out of 5

The dream warriors are back, baby. Hilarious 80’s hair. Kincaid is great. I like Tuesday Knight’s acting better than Patricia Arquette’s. I want a postcard from Freddy that says “Greetings from Hell.” This one feels so similar to the 90’s slasher films Scream, Halloween H2O, IKWYDLS, Final Destination.

Bad ADR syncing and flat voice acting. Hate this 80’s rock/pop soundtrack. Dramarama sucks. Billy Idol sucks. This one was less “fun” than the previous three.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors 1987

1h 36m Horror Rated 3.5 out of 5

Nancy’s back! Love the creepy dream stuff. I think I’ve seen this one… One Flew Over The Krueger’s Nest. The Breakfred Club. Clash of the Titans. Body Double. Ghost Dad.



I hate the fake orchestral keyboard patches. Nice practical effects but WOOF what terrible CGI. Geez this General MIDI soundtrack sucks.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge 1985

1h 27m Horror Rated 3.5 out of 5

This is what happens when you buy cheap birdseed. I like that Freddie is less “goofy” in this one. Nice possession stuff. It’s kind of refreshing to see a slasher film with more male nudity than female nudity and with scenes in the boys locker room and showers. The unpacking montage is so clearly queer-coded. Definitely the most homoerotic slasher film I’ve seen.

Lots of dumb dialogue. Cut the campy 80’s pool party stuff.

After Hours 1985

1h 37m Comedy Rated 3.5 out of 5

Fun farce. I was a little disappointed in the ending as I was hoping for some final twist or reveal.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome 1985

1h 47m Action Rated 4.0 out of 5

The cinematography in this is just awesome. Great editing. It’s paced really well. The practical effects and technical work are great. Good world building. Good orchestral soundtrack.

Goofy cartoonish action stuff. Tina Turner’s stunt casting is especially bad. The plot relies to many random deus ex machina escapes. It feels cheap when Max gets out of a jam by shear luck. The ending is “meh”

Fletch 1985

1h 38m Comedy Rated 2.5 out of 5

Not a great comedy. Not a great film noir.

The Horror of Frankenstein 1970

1h 35m Horror Rated 3.0 out of 5

I like this smarmy, condescending Viktor Frankenstein.

Typical Hammer wash of too much lighting. Flat cinematography.

Hammer Time podcast

Sting of Death 1966

1h 20m Science Fiction Rated 2.0 out of 5

It’s trash, but it’s actually not that bad. It’s tolerable trash.


Monsterdon watch party on Mastodon

Ran 1985

2h 40m Action Rated 3.0 out of 5

No depth of field. Only medium to wide shots. Everything feels like it was filmed with a zoom lens. Overly reliant on long sustained takes. Camera is shaky and jerks when it moves. Third acts is so slow. It just get redundant at points. This didn’t need to be 2.5 hours long.

Better Off Dead... 1985

1h 37m Comedy Rated 2.5 out of 5

A few moments of dark comedy reminiscent of Harold and Maude, but mostly just cringy 80’s teen movie tropes.

Phantasm II 1988

1h 37m Action Rated 3.0 out of 5

Evil Dead-esque horror action with some body horror and a little humor (chainsaw vs. chainsaw battle). Explosions go boom. Fun weapons.

The version that I watched was gray and hazy with low contrast. The film quality looks really bad. The first film didn’t explain everything and that’s fine. The sequel also doesn’t explain much and some plot elements get MORE confusing and complicated.

Dead Meat podcast